[Intro]
Well I'd kill for some Tito's & corn chips
A diet I've learned to accept
If it don't make me tired, and it don't make me fat
Then there ain't nothing wrong I guess

[Verse]
Showed up to work today four hours late
Ate a cigarette for breakfast again
Got the fired notice on my office desk
And a middle finger from the Xerox guy Jim

[Chorus]
No you can't make your momma proud of you
When you're smoking away all your wrongs
And you can't make a living off royalty checks
If nobody's cutting your songs

[Verse]
Told Ms. Patty that I'd made the big time
Got signed to a label in LA
Told her stories of having a drink with George Jones
She believed me till she found where he lays

[Chorus]
No you can't make your momma proud of you
When you're smoking away all your wrongs
And you can't make a living off royalty checks
If nobody's cutting your songs

[Outro]
You can't expect everything to fall in your lap
You've gotta work hard and long
And you can't make a living off royalty checks
If nobody's cutting your songs
Hell nobody's cutting my songs