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God f***ing damn it...
I thought this place was supposed to be
Where you could do what you want...
Last time I listen to anyone down here...
I guess it's "Hell" for a reason,
Of course it's nothing but sh*t kickers.
If I could stick it to those a***oles thenn I'd-

[Alastor]
Then I'm sure you'd make good use of your time!

[Stranger]
Who are you two!?

[Alastor]
Oh, you're new!
Well, allow me to offer some insight...

music
This world is run on but a simple rule,
Not a case of what you know, but who.
(Ah, sh*t, here we go...)
Looking at you, I think, perhaps,
You're wanting more than table scraps,
So just imagine what a man like me could do for you?

talk
[Stranger]
Are you... saying you can help me?

[Alastor]
A proposal. If you'll hear me out...

[Stranger]
I... suppose?

music
Splendid!
I see big things coming your way,
Yes indeedly!
Now, into business.
Everything's better with a song,
Don't you agree?

This way, good man,
We have a deal to make!
I assure this is a good thing for both our sakes.
I'm happy to provide, but remember your side,
Of a bargain I know you can't refuse to take.
All I ask is when I boost your station,
Remember who gave you this grand ovation!
If I call on you for a favour or two,
Don't forget it's now your obligation!

Smile like you mean it!
Take a chance and you could seize it!
I'm sure you'll do just swell,
You're only down in Hell,
So come along with me and guarantee it!
Smile your way through it!
Grit your teeth ang get right to it!
Forget the rigmarole,
and you can have it all
And make it that much better,
When I see you fall...

[Husker]
They say you reap what you sow
And in this town, you should damn well know,
That what the Radio Demon wants,
He's gonna take.
I've seen him kill Hell's greatest evils,
Shake the status quo in upheaval.
So if you think you're gettin' outta this?
Big mistake...

[Alastor]
Now, now, sourpuss...

[Husker]
Stop fuckin' around!
This is takin' forever,
You always think you're real slick and clever...

[Alastor]
Yet I know what you like,
and what makes you tick, tick, tick...

[Husker]
Doin' what you want's just the cost I pay,
Enough o' this shit, we ain't got all day!
Just sign the thing so I can go get another fuckin' drink...

[Alastor]
In other words...
Smile like you mean it!
Risk it all and we could seize it!
Until we hear that bell,
we're both stuck in Hell,
So roll the dice and see if you could be it!
Smile your way through it!
Embrace the dark as though you knew it,
You can stand up tall,
And act within my thrall.
And I'll be there to watch you,
As you take the fall...

So what, my friend, whatever will it be?
I can give you what you crave, just not for free.
You know what's on the line,
and this whole thing's on borrowed time,
But you can trust the man who's wearing his one guarantee...

Smile like you mean it!
Take a chance and you could seize it!
I'm sure you'll do just swell,
You're only down in Hell,
So come along with me and guarantee it!
Smile your way through it!
Grit your teeth ang get right to it!
Forget the rigmarole,
and you can have it all
And make it that much better
When I see you...

Smile like you mean it!
Risk it all and we could seize it!
Until we hear that bell,
we're both stuck in Hell,
So roll the dice and see if you could be it!
Smile your way through it!
Embrace the dark as though you knew it,
You can stand up tall,
and act within my thrall.
And I'll be there to watch you,
Yes, I'll watch you
I will make you,
Break you, as you fall...