I've got a message
For the east, west, north, and south
I just hope that you can hear it
With this tape on my mouth
And if you're just tuning in
Let me debrief you briefly
My name is Julian and I've been
K to the I D N A double P E D
Been in captivity
For about 5 weeks or so
So please don't even ask how I
made this track in the studio
Someone call the PoPo
For vandalism
I'm t-t-tearing it up with
Immaculate rhyme and rhythm

I'm a captive
I'm a captive
And I been told that I cant live
Unless I got a captive audience

Getting 1,000 people to subscribe
Is quite a lot
But you gotta help me foil
Gabrielle's evil plot
Cause he's got me at gunpoint
And he says he'll shoot
If you do not subscribe
I will be execute
And I'm not typically the
Type of person to bribe
But I'm giving you an iPod
If you get some friends to subscribe

Julian: So who wants an iPod?
Girl: Me!
Julian: You want one?
Girl: I do!
Julian: Did you subscribe?
Girl: No...
Julian: Then no iPod for you!

I'm a captive
I'm a captive
And I been told that I cant live
Unless I got a captive audience