Barney, put the coffee on
'Cuz I'm late for work again [1]
Another day at the office
Wonder what kind of perks I get
I am an MIT alumni, ever heard of it (sure ya did)
I've got a PHD, but now I'm earning it
Buldin' up my resume at Black Mesa
Employee of the month
They should've a plaque with my name up
I'll hang up my lab jacket, grab a new Hazard Suit
Just in case a Resonance Cascade should happen soon [2]
Who ever thought a booksmart geek could go so hard?
Even aquired a minor degree - in crowbars
No joke, Gordon got more balls than a Gonarch [3]
Headcrabs wanna grab my dome cuz I'm so smart
I'm not the one for talking, but I got an arsenal
Forget my doctorate, when a gun makes any problem solvable
I'm anomalous, like a subatomic quantum particle [4]
The odds of starting an apocalypse went from none to probable
I'm pickin' up steam and runnin' amok
Cleanin' out the Marines who think that they'll cover this up
I'll paint the walls with their brains, call that a Black Mesa layoff
When you enter this facility, you know who's laid low [5]
Don't call me crazy, I've got plenty of Xen [6]
I'll annihilate any Nihilanth who's letting 'em in [7]
If I clock any overtime, I ain't doing it for free, man [8]
Just give me some praise, OK? Gee, man! [9]

What makes your life worth living?
Who's making your decisions?
Strung up by puppet strings
But no one else can see them
When this dimension crashes
Wake up and smell the ashes [10]
Trapped in a Half-Life with a dream to be a free man [11]

I need another coffee, have I been sleeping on the job? [12]
Doesn't matter, this time I arrived right on the dot
Doctor Breen, what have you done to City seventeen?
Call up a janitor because we've got another mess to clean
It only took the alien invasion all of seven hours [13]
To enslave us, and then build an overcompensating tower [14]
Now I need a team of physicists to see this Resistance through [15]
'Cuz so far I've been solo, is Alyx single too? [16]
This DOg's bark is bigger than his bite I've [17]
Upgraded from Mark IV to Mark V
Charge up, now we'll divide and conquer the Combine
Buckle up buggers, because you're in for a long ride
Comes another unstoppable force the source of which is Gordon [18]
I govern gravity, I'll send ya soarin' into orbit
Back in Black Mesa I slaughtered a Vortigaunt herd
But now I work with 'em - sorry this is awkward
No bars will hold us, Nova Prospekt
My crowbar is blood-soaked, you got wrecked
Made it through Ravenholm, somehow I kept my head [19]
What's the story with Father Grigori?
Left for Dead! [20]
Theoretically speaking, I'm a benevolent being
But in relativity, intent has no meaning
Hands up, when you see the Lambda
Doesn't matter what your race is
I'm free man, G-man, I'll never stay in stasis

What makes your life worth living?
Who's making your decisions?
Strung up by puppet strings
But no one else can see them
When this dimension crashes
Wake up and smell the ashes
Trapped in a Half-Life with a dream to be a free man

I won't let any dimensional freak overwork me
Time to spell his cryptic secrets now in verse 3.... [21]