London Bridge is falling down
Say the people in my town
They're the ones who bring it down
(It's true they've been for centuries,
walking by it and saying, you know,
London Bridge really is falling down, poor thing,
it just fell down in shame)
My fair lady-o

(Now maybe if someone would, encourage it a little bit)

London Bridge is falling up
Say the tea leaves in my cup
Guess the cup is cracking up
My fair lady-o

London Bridge is up for sale
Booze heads put my friend in jail
Spent my bridge money on bail
My fair lady-o
(Sure would've like to have bought that bridge)
(Couldn't let him go to jail)

If the bridge belonged to me
I would serve you tarts and tea
Smiles, that's all the tolls would be
(No grouchy people would be getting across at all)
My fair lady-o

On the bridge there stands a car
Painted with peculiar flowers
It's the Beatles' it's not ours
(Guess they're looking at the bridge)
(Hope they buy it)
My fair lady-o

London Bridge is falling down
(Something like that)
London Bridge is coming down
Coming down on London Bridge
Ice cubes melting in my fridge

(They always, do you know those English fridges are terrible, they're always melting things and ice cubes are dripping all over the floor)
(And the vegetables are all rotten and your friend turns to you in her very British way and she says: "You know I paid two bob for this. It smells a bit peculiar doesn't it, but don't you think... well, we can serve it anyway" and she does)
Coming down on London Bridge
Mutton rotting in my fridge
Coming dow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow
Coming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming
(A little electronic music there for your pleasure)
Coming down on London Bridge
My fair lady-o